Bush Man

One of my favorite joys of San Francisco is to visit Joe’s Crab Shack on Embarcadero near Pier 49. If you ask, all the employees will do a wonderful rendition of the song “Car Wash”.

(Workin' at the) car wash.
Workin' at the car wash yeah !
Come on and sing it with me car wash.
Get with the feelin' y'all car wash yeah.

But the best aspect of Joe’s Crab Shack is it’s unprecedented view of Bush Man. Bush man is a fixture in San Fran. He sits on a milk crate, behind freshly cut bushes and scares unsuspecting tourists as they walk along the waterfront. I’ve never quite figured out how the oblivious walkers don’t notice the normal 200-300 other tourists watching Bush Man scare others but they do get scared. Often with hilarious results.

But Bush Man life has not always been so good. In 2004, Bush Man got sued. And not even by Scientologists (“you are soooo sued”), but by litigious Americans.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

“After a week and a half of legal motions, three days of jury selection and a four-day trial in which one witness was flown in from Southern California, the leaf-shaking boogeyman who makes his living scaring the daylights out of Fisherman Wharf tourists is back in business

‘There was an incident where a woman was injured,'' said juror Gerald Keene, who works at Pacific Gas and Electric Co. "But it came out during the trial that her husband had bumped her, and she tripped over her child and twisted her ankle.'’

Then there was the case of Maury Polse, a charter boat skipper who said the Bushman was ruining business by blocking the sidewalk.

Finally, there was the Southern California man who, after getting the full Bushman treatment, complained that his young child "got scared and started crying'' as onlookers laughed.”

I’ve always thought Bush Man needed a publicist. T-Shirts, mugs, pictures, a market untapped. I wonder if Bush Man needs a partner?