Hero Support

I've never really had a long commute. That is up until I moved to the Bay Area three years ago. The reality of that very commute has changed my life. I have discovered that I have a secret super power.

Every time some maniac, or oftentimes a womaniac, tries to run me off the road, I focus all my super power energy toward being able to explode their car tires. I'm convinced it's a real power because while focused on the real tire of an old Pontiac weaving by me, it actually exploded.

But some may consider this only a secondary power. One worthy not of super hero status, but that of "hero support" (a.k.a sidekick). For instance, Superman has an astonishing array of powers . Whereas sidekicks are unceremoniously fed to the worms or even worse outted as "ambiguously gay". All due to the perceived lack of importance of their powers (see Alotta Fagina).

But superhero or sidekick, a power is a power. So whenever you see a car with a flat tire on the side of 580, think not of stopping to help, but consider that they may have received their deserved comeuppance from Flat Tire Man.