The Gov

I have been thinking about running for governor in Minnesota. But I’m concerned that I may not be weird enough to be successful.

First of all, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, a huge governor by any measure provides a very tough standard. But the good news is that he’s retired. The real concern is the competition now:

The Impaler.

A man who calls himself a satanic priest plans to run for governor on a 13-point platform that includes the public impaling of terrorists at the state Capitol building.

Highlights from the 13 point “plan”:

• Any one found committing an act of terrorism in Minnesota will be IMPALED by me at the State Capital. If the US DOJ wants to prosecute me for it, then I will take my chances in Court, for I do not believe an American Jury will convict me of brutally killing a terrorist!
• All religious beliefs will be protected under my administration. I will erect the "Wall of Religious Beliefs" in the Capital. This wall will have everything from the Wiccan Rede to the 10 Commandments.
• Boot Camp for juvenile offenders. If parents are unable to cope with an out of control child, who is repeatedly breaking laws and/or are failing to attend school regularly, the child will be placed in a "Boot Camp" program ran by reserve or former military drill sergeants
  

Like Howard Dean before him, The Impaler is using the vast fund-raising capabilities of the internet to organize and coordinate amongst like-minded individuals.

He even has a federally sanctioned party, the VWP Party.

But there is hope for me with this news flash!

“Jonathon Sharkey, 41, of Princeton, Minn. was arrested Monday night on two felony counts from Indiana, said Mike Smith, the Mille Lacs County jail administrator. One warrant was for escape, another for stalking.”

First “The Body”, then “The Impaler”, now perhaps “The Ferret Legger”?!