Elevators Tactics

1. If it is just you and a stranger, stand right next to them instead of the opposite wall.
2. Pretend to sneeze in your hand and then touch all the buttons
3. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
4. Make inappropriate comments like, “Yeah, I couldn’t afford to put my cat to sleep so I strangled it.” or “Yeah, I told her, I don’t care if you are a nun, I’ll knock your ass out cold.”
5. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
6. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
7. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,without getting off.
8. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
9. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10. Do Tai Chi exercises.
11. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
12. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
13. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
14. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
15. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
16. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
17. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
18. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your phone?"
19. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
20. Lean against the button panel.
21. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
22. Bring a chair along.
23. Blow spit bubbles."
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Breathe loudly.
    
26. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
27. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"