Ole and Lena

During my first blog, I went on about how enjoyable and cathartic the whole process was and that I could finally share things like that fine publishing effort, the Star Gazette, with a wider audience.

The Star Gazette is the excellent rag where you can find things like Ole and Lena jokes. Very Minnesota. During that first blog I promise to come back with more of those old classics, the Ole and Lena jokes. I've also included their friends, Oivo, Toivo and Eino.

There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers, and the boss had to choose between a team of two Norwegian guys and a team of two Irish guys. So the boss met with both teams and said: "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job."Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys, came back and the boss asked them how many they had installed.

They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve. Forty-five minutes later, Ole and Sven,the Norwegian guys came back in and they were totally exhausted. The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys install?"

Ole, the team leader wiped his brow and sighed, "Sven and me, we got three in."

The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Irish guys put in twelve!"" Yeah," said Ole, "but you should see how much they left stickin'out of the ground!"

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Oivo and Toivo

Toivo and Eino decide to go ice fishing one day. Anyway, after a long day at the lake they come home exhausted and Irma (that's Toivo's wife) says "well, did you get any fish, eh?"

Toivo says "Heck no. It took us darn near all afternoon just to cut a hole big enough to put the boat in!"

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Dialogue at a ticket window at a Minnesota railroad station:

Immigrant: "Too to Doloot" (Duluth)

Ticket officer: "Toodledoo to you, too!"

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Toivo and Eino were building a sauna. Eino was on one side and Toivo was working on the other side. Toivo came around to Eino's side to check up on him.

Eino picked up a nail, looked at it, and then nailed it into the sauna. Then he picked up another nail, looked at it, and threw it away. Then Eino picked up another nail, looked at it, threw it away.

TOIVO: "Eino, why did you trow dos nails avay?"
EINO: "Dos nails were going the other way."
TOIVO: "You fool! dos nails are for the other side of the sauna."

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Toivo and Eino were going hunting. Toivo says, "Eino, lets split up, if you get lost fire three shots into the air."

So Eino gets lost. He fires three shots in the air and says,"Gee I hope Toivo sees my arrows."

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Toivo and Eino go hunting, and Eino shoots Toivo. He takes him into the hospital. Then after surgery, the doctor comes out mad and says," Eino, we could have saved him if you wouldnt have field dressed him first!"

Back to my roots....