Wasted Opportunity

As of late, I've been spending a rather large amount of time on airplanes. Recently, I was preparing to fly from San Francisco to Dallas and the synchronized air waitress team began their ridiculous presentation of life jacket etiquette.

Now aside from the obvious point that the trip between San Francisco and Dallas overflies no major bodies of water, it seems to me there must be a better use of the time it takes to demonstrate life jacket instructions on an airplane.


Based on my research, I believe there are exactly ZERO instances of planes crashing into a major body of water where people have successfully donned their life jackets and floated to safety.

So I have a better idea. What other situation does a company have to educate an audience of up to 450 captives? Instead of the life jacket instructions, why not do a "how to recycle" demonstration? Or a "reduce your carbon footprint" presentation. How about "dangers of excessive alcohol consumption whilst airborne". Conscientious airlines could even attempt to instruct captive Americans on basic skills such as global geography, alternative religions or (just imagine) new language skills. The world would definately be a better place.

And as for the "do not inflate life jacket whilst inside aircraft rule", I only have to offer the following picture as evidence that even the instructions provide are asinine: