Presentation Zen

My "Trees" blog from yesterday elicited the brutal comment "Yawn" from my friend Howard Hughes. As I realize that most California-raised city boys like Howard, cannot appreciate the true-beauty of the great trees of the world, I'd have to accomodate my audience with something more lively.



Like video's of great presentaitions.



Recently, on Guy Kawasaki's blog Garage, he listed his Top Ten Presentations Of All Time. I viewed the videos and came up with my own list of four. They're worth watching and the first, Dick Hardt's presentation, I believe is an awesome display of presentation zen and presenters everywhere should mimic this style in every meeting and presentation they give.

So my personal top four list of the best presentations ever given (that I've seen):

Dick Hardt’s Identity 2.0 presentation at OSCON 2005.

Dr. Martin Luther King’s I Have a Dream speech in 1963.

Steve Jobs introduces the Macintosh in 1984.

Seth Godin talks about Marketing at Google in 2006.

Trees

Trees I'd like to visit before I die:

Asia

• The Cedars of God, a small forest of about 400 Lebanon Cedar trees at about 2,300 meters above sea level in the mountains of northern Lebanon. The Cedars of Lebanon are mentioned in the Bible over 70 times and used as symbols of the Messiah, and were prized by historical figures such as Herod, Alexander, and Caesar.
• The Great Banyan in the botanical garden near Kolkata of Indian Baynan with a crown circumference of over 330m.
• The Sri Maha Bodhi tree, a Sacred Fig propagated from the Bodhi tree, planted in 22BC at Anuradhapura, Sri Lanka.
• The 450 year-old giant banyan tree at Adyar in Chennai, India in the grounds of the Theosophical Society headquarters under which people listened to discourses by luminaries such as J. Krishnamurti, Annie Besant and Maria Montessori.
• Jomon Sugi, a very large, old Sugi on Yakushima island, Japan.
• The Strangler Fig trees at Ta Prohm, Angkor, Cambodia

Europe

• Granit oak, an oak in Granit village near Stara Zagora in Bulgaria; one of the oldest trees in Europe, estimated to be about 1650 years old. Its crown spread covers an area of 1017 square metres, its girth is 7.45 m and its height is 23.4 m.
• Bartek, an oak grows in Zagnansk in Swietokrzyskie Mountains; the most famous tree in Poland, said to be about 1200 years old, but after research more accurately about 650 years, 30 m tall, measures 9.5 m in girth at breast hight and 13.5 m near the ground and its crown spread is about 40 m.
• Fortingall Yew, a yew at Perth and Kinross, Perthshire, Scotland; probably the oldest tree in Europe, thought by some to be about 4,000 years old.
• Gernikako Arbola, an oak representing the Basque people, at Guernica, Spain.
• Kongeegen (the King Oak), an ancient Pedunculate oak in Jægerspris Nordskov, Sjælland, Denmark; estimated to be over 1200 years old, one of the oldest oaks in the world.
• Major Oak, an ancient Pedunculate oak in Sherwood Forest, Nottinghamshire, England, the most famous and most visited tree of Great Britain. About 800 years old, with a girth at breast hight of 10.5 m.
• Ivenack Oak, a huge and ancient Pedunculate oak in Ivenack, Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania, Germany, thought to be about 800 years old, 35 m tall, 11 m in girth at breast hight and 16.5 m near the ground. The largest oak of Germany and (in wood volume) probably of Europe.
• Baikushev's Pine, an ancient Bosnian Pine in the Pirin mountains near Bansko, Bulgaria, estimated to be 1300 years old, 24 m tall, 6.9 m in girth at breast height. One of the oldest trees of Bulgaria.

North America

• The Angel Oak, a Southern live oak on Johns Island, South Carolina, is estimated at 1400 years of age. The tree and surrounding park have been owned by the neighboring city of Charleston since 1991.
• The Balmville Tree, the oldest eastern cottonwood in the Eastern United States, in Balmville, New York.
• Banyan Tree Park, a 132 year-old tree in Lāhainā, Hawai'i. The tree was imported from India and was 2.5 m (8 feet) tall when it was planted in 1873 by Sheriff William O. Smith to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Christian missionary work. The tree is now 18 m (60 feet) high with 12 major trunks.
• El Árbol del Tule, the stoutest tree in the world, a Montezuma Cypress in Santa María del Tule, Oaxaca, Mexico.
• The Devil's Tree, in Bernards Township, New Jersey. Solitary oak is believed to punish those who damage or disrespect it.
• El Palo Alto, a Coast Redwood in Palo Alto, California.
• The General Grant tree, the "Nation's Christmas Tree" of the United States, a Giant Sequoia in Kings Canyon National Park, California.
• The General Sherman tree, the world's largest living thing, a Giant Sequoia in Sequoia National Park, California.
• The Hangman's Elm, an English Elm and the oldest known tree in Manhattan.
• Kiidk'yaas, a rare golden Sitka Spruce sacred to the Haida, on Haida Gwaii (Queen Charlotte Islands), British Columbia, Canada.
• The Lone Cypress, a dramatically situated Monterey Cypress on the 17 Mile Drive in Pebble Beach, California.
• Methuselah, the oldest known living organism (approximately 4,700 years), a Great Basin Bristlecone Pine in California.
• Pando (Quaking Aspen), an aspen colony, is the oldest known clonal colony at possibly 80,000 years, and the heaviest at six million kilograms (6,000 tonnes).
• The Queens Giant, a Tulip-tree (Liriodendron tulipifera) in northeast Queens, New York that is 40 m (134 feet) tall and 350-450 years old. It is the oldest living thing in the New York metropolitan area.
• Stratosphere Giant, tallest tree in the world, a Coast Redwood in California.
• Treaty Oak, in Austin, Texas.
• The Tree That Owns Itself, a white oak tree that owns itself and all land within 2.5 m (8 feet) of it in Athens, Georgia.
• The Washington tree, a Giant Sequoia in California.
• The Big Tree - Goose Island, Texas' Largest Tree in Goose Island State Park, Rockport, Texas.

Oceania

• Dave Evans Bicentennial Tree, Karri forest fire lookout tree with accessible platform, near Manjimup, Australia.
• Diamond Tree, Karri forest fire lookout tree with accessible wooden platform (52m high), 10km from Manjimup, Australia.
• Gloucester Tree, Western Australia's most famous Karri tree, with accessible aluminium platform, in Gloucester National Park (61m high), Australia.
• Old Gum Tree, Glenelg, Australia
• The Tree of Knowledge near Barcaldine, Queensland under which the Australian Labour Party was traditionally founded.
• Tane Mahuta ('Lord of the Forest'), a giant Kauri in Northland Region, New Zealand.
• Te Matua Ngahere ('Father of the Forest'), another giant Kauri in New Zealand.

To Live And Let Die

Worldwide, 91 percent of people die within 20 miles of their place of birth. This fact is astounding to me. But based on the following facts, it’s not too surprising.

1. Current world population: 6,643,412,204
   
2. Half the world — nearly three billion people — live on less than two dollars a day.
3. 1.3 billion people live on less than one dollar per day.
4. 1.3 billion have no access to clean water.
5. 3 billion have no access to sanitation.
6. 2 billion have no access to electricity.
7. Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names.
8. An analysis of long-term trends shows the distance between the richest and poorest countries was about:
1. 3 to 1 in 1820
2. 11 to 1 in 1913
3. 35 to 1 in 1950
4. 44 to 1 in 1973
5. 72 to 1 in 1992
9. A few hundred millionaires now own as much wealth as the world’s poorest 2.5 billion people.
10. The combined wealth of the world’s 200 richest people hit $1 trillion in 1999; the combined incomes of the 582 million people living in the 43 least developed countries is $146 billion.
11. The richest 50 million people in Europe and North America have the same income as 2.7 billion poor people. “The slice of the cake taken by 1% is the same size as that handed to the poorest 57%.
12. The world’s 497 billionaires in 2001 registered a combined wealth of $1.54 trillion, well over the combined gross national products of all the nations of sub-Saharan Africa ($929.3 billion) or those of the oil-rich regions of the Middle East and North Africa ($1.34 trillion). It is also greater than the combined incomes of the poorest half of humanity.
13. A mere 12 percent of the world’s population uses 85 percent of its water, and these 12 percent do not live in the Third World.
14. US Passports issued in 2005 - 10,123,424.

Wealthiest Nations Per Capita

• Luxembourg, per capita income $55,110, populaton 468,571
• Norway, per capita income $37,800, populaton 4,593,041
• United States, per capita income $37,800, populaton 295,734,134
• San Marino per capita income $34,600, populaton 28,880
• Switzerland per capita income $32,700, populaton 7,489,370

Thats What Friends Are For

"The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends"

Friedrich Nietzsche

Two of my best friends, Howard Hughes and George Clooney, are both truly male friends. None of this female softness. One of them, Howard, sends voicemails that say nothing but "loser". George, on the other hand, is a bit more aggressive in his friendship. I've been collecting the images he sends on a daily basis and have displayed them below.

"When you're the best of friends
Having so much fun together
You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair
You're the best of friends"

From the Disney film "Fox and Hound"

Famous Last Words

I’ve always wanted my epitaph to read:

“nobody ever died saying they should have worked more”.

I picked my epitaph because I’ve always been fond of this saying. My father taught me this early in my life, a valuable lesson that work should never take over your life and you must carve out time for the pleasures of life. He also taught me about “mental health days”. A good guy my dad is, full of useful wisdom.

Yet I’ve never thought of my last words. I guess because they need context. You can’t really pick them when you’re young, wouldn’t work. “Party on dude” whilst driving like a maniac at age 16 would certainly not be a memorable set. Likewise, you can’t really plan around the context of your future death. This is why I find the following quotes interesting.

Famous Last Words

George Washington "Tis well."

Teddy Roosevelt "Please put out the light."

John Kennedy "That's very obvious."

Saint Lawrence The Perseids Meteors, seen around August 12 of each year, are also called the "Tears of Saint Lawrence" after a martyred Christian deacon whom the Romans burned to death on an outdoor iron stove in A.D. 258. Before dying, he was said to have cried out: "I am already roasted on one side. If thou wouldst have me well cooked, it is time to turn me on the other."

George Reeves "I'm tired. I'm going back to bed." George Reeves was an American actor most famous for playing Superman on the classic 1950's television series. Although Reeves had been a respected actor for years (one of his first important roles was as one of the Tarlton twins in Gone With the Wind), he became so typecast in his Superman role that he couldn't find work after the series ended in 1957. Late one night while he was living with his finance and another friend, two other friends came to visit. Reeves became angry that he had been awakened and announced that he was going back to bed. He went back upstairs to his bedroom and shot himself in the head with a 30 caliber luger.

Eastman, George "My work is done, why wait?" George Eastman, the American inventor. At the age of 77 and plagued by a painfully debilitating spinal disease, Eastman put his affairs in order, wrote a note, and committed suicide.

Sitting Bull "I am not going. Do with me what you like. I am not going. Come on! Come on! Take action! Let's go!" Sitting Bull, a Sioux chief, is most famous for his role in defeating Custer at the Battle of the Little Big Horn. On 15 December 1890, about forty Native American members of the Indian Constabulary surrounded Sitting Bull's cabin and attempted to arrest him. When Sitting Bull refused to leave with the police, a crowd of angry supporters gathered around him. One of them, Catch the Bear, pulled a gun and shot the senior officer, Lieutenant Henry Bull Head. As Bull Head fell, he fired once and hit Sitting Bull in the side. A close quarters fire fight immediately broke out, and by the time it ended fourteen men--six of whom were police officers--had died.

Guevara, Ernesto "Che" "I know you have come to kill me. Shoot, coward. You are only going to kill a man."

Hilton, Conrad N. "Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub." On his deathbed just before he died, Hilton was asked if he had any last words of wisdom for the world.

Bruce, Lenny (Leonard Schneider) "Do you know where I can get any shit?" Lenny Bruce was the original obscene comedian. A heavy drug user, Lenny Bruce was found naked and dead of an overdose on his bathroom floor with a hypodermic needle stuck in his right arm.

Proportion

What is wrong with this picture?

What's wrong is that it is nearly unrecognizable. It is unrecognizable because it is proportional. Proportional in respect to the number of toy exports, on a global basis, each year.


Compare it to this, the number of toy imports, on a global basis, each year:



I guess Santa Claus isn't too kind to the Chinese kids producing all those toys?

Too bad, considering this proportional map of the number of children on earth.


Judging from these maps, I'd offer a guess that the American kids are *really* well behaved and all the other kids are evil. At least in Santa context anyway.

Here's a map of proportional tourism profits on a global basis:


Maybe if all the tourists brought more toys for the kids we'd have less conflict.

And based on this map (a map showing the proportional export of computers on a global basis), I certainly hope our economy is not dependent on anything like computers:


credits

Finnish Names

Many Finnish last names are funny (Mr Sling ass (Linkoperä)), gory (Mrs Fetus (Sikiö)) or weird (Mr Nation's ditch (Mr. Kansanoja)). Some names are overly grand (Mr War power (Sotavalta)) or a bit naughty (Ms Good breast (Hyvärinta)). What other country has had a prime minister called Mr Duck?

Finns are so used to their names that the quality and humor of the names doesn't become apparent until they are translated to some other language. So I’ve written a short story in English using both the proper Finnish names and the same story using their English translations:

Finnish Story

Mr. Lempinen and Ms. Lysti had lunch together. During lunch they met Mrs. Humalainen, who was dining with Ms. Impinen. As they sat at the table, they heard a loud noise, that of glass breaking. They looked over and saw Mrs. Humalainen and Mr. Julmala having a fight and crashing glass over Mr. Iho, Mr. Ilmio and Mr. Hourula, all of whom where indulging themselves.

Mr. Jaykka, walked over to Ms. Iho and said “of all the angels in heaven”. Ms. Iho retorted, “who do you think I am? That slut Ms. Villikko?”. Just then Mr. Tuhola came up and punched Mr. Jaykka in defense of his girlfriend Ms. Iho.

Translated English Story

Mr. Love and Ms. Fun had lunch together. During lunch they met Mrs. Drunk, who was dining with Ms. Virgin. As they sat at the table, they heard a loud noise, that of glass breaking. They looked over and saw Mrs. Drunk and Mr. Cruel having a fight and crashing glass over Mr. Skin, Mr. Phenomenon and Mr. Delirium, all of whom where indulging themselves.

Mr. Stiff, walked over to Ms. Skin and said “of all the angels in heaven”. Ms. Skin retorted, “who do you think I am? That slut Ms. Wild Girl?”. Just then Mr. Destruction came up and punched Mr. Stiff in defense of his girlfriend Ms. Skin.

Mountain Momma v. Wilderness Woman

The other day I wrote about West Virginia's Mountain Momma. But now, Alaska weights in with the Wilderness Woman contest. I see a reality show competition in the future.

The contestants in the Wilderness Woman contest come to Talkeetna, Alaska in the dead of winter. They put on borrowed winter survival gear and compete for the title. The only requirement is that they be unmarried at the time.

During competition, these wild and wooly women have to hitch up a sled dog team, shoot a bow and arrow, crawl through a culvert, haul water, drive a snowmachine, clomp around in bunny boots and snowshoes, and make a sandwich for a reclining bachelor. The night activities include getting all decked out and going to bid on the eligible bachelors at the Bachelors' Auction. For their efforts, the Wilderness Woman winner receives a fur hat, a plaque, and sometimes a trip to Europe.

I've never been to Alaska, except one night spent in the Anchorage airport, but I may have to plan my first trip. Bunny boots and bow's and arrow's! I get goosebumps even thinking about the prospect...

Mars

"Believe it or not, every three months a summary of astrological prognoses predicting the place and date of future extraordinary occurrences is sent from the St. Petersburg Naval Scientific Research Institute to the Russian Defense Ministry's General Staff." - Komsomolskaya Pravda; January 21, 1998

Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting in August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will culminate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles of earth. Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 at 12:30 am. It will look like the earth has 2 moons. The next time Mars may come this close is in the year 2287.

SEO

I think perhaps I am in need of some search engine optimization (SEO). People find my blog as a result of some very strange search engine queries.

I also had advertising turned onto my blog for quite awhile. But I found that no-one ever clicked on the links. Perhaps because my blogs are so erratic in topic. At one point, the ads showed the topics “Gerald Ford” and “Weight Loss” on the same blog. Strange, as in my memory, I never remember ex-president Jerry Ford as being a fat guy. I also had an abnormally large number of ads for Purex. I’m sure this is because of my rather strange habit of blogging about my lawyer Howard Hughes’ obsession with germs.

I find it especially interesting that there were a number of queries for “barberia wax Thailand”. I have no idea what this means and I’m sure I’ve never had one nor blogged about one of these exotic sounding waxes.

So here are a list of the queries that have resulted in pointers to my blog over the past month:

• mosquite nv demographics
• rubber band forex pennington
• grand rapids Minnesota
• Faribault Heritage Days
• pelican lake mn
• Robert Hooke wheel-cutting
• Cornfest, Paynesville
• MN pope county agate
• waubun minnesota pre harvest festival
• jerry derungs
• sh-sh-sh sharkattack
• mc vagina
• EYOTA, MN FESTIVAL
• Remer MN harvest festival
• spudfest Big Lake Minnesota
• rodeo+winona+county+fair
• moose lake agate stomp
• termite super-colony
• Glenwood, MN Waterama facts
• north road championship pigeon club uk louella
• roman abramovich proteus
• waterama drunk
• barberia thailand wax
• shvidler new boat
• mn. celebrations olivia corn capital day
• L. ron hubbard quotes writing for a penny a word
• Norwegian guys

100 Things About Me

1. I have been blogging on Blogger since January, 2006.
2. I have never done one of these '100 things about me' posts
3. I was born in 1964
4. I truly dislike tattoo’s and do not understand them unless you’re a Maori.
5. I am married
6. I have three children
7. I’ve never been divorced
8. Not all of my kids live with me
9. I barely made it out of high school
10. I have a Master of Science degree
11. I’ve never wanted to run marathon
12. I miss snowmobiling
13. I have lived in Minnesota, Kansas, Missouri, New York, Japan, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Britain and California.
14. I now live near the ocean for the first time in my life
15. I believe I am the only person to have ever dishwashed a fossil
16. I have some regrets
17. but none that I would correct
18. I love my job
19. I enjoy blogging
20. I’ve always worked hard
21. I’ve worked less than most people I know
22. I used to collect coins
23. and beer cans
24. and comic books
25. I miss playing hockey
26. I used to play a lot of hockey
27. My favorite animal is the moose.
28. I don’t hate anyone except Ann Coulter
29. YouTube is one of my favorite sites.
30. I miss Japan.
31. I wish I could learn to surf well.
32. I got engaged in the Philippines.
33. I got married on a night when there were both a lunar eclipse and Haileys Comet were in the sky.
34. I got engaged on the only full moon on Christmas Eve in my lifetime.
35. I got laid for the first time on the front seat of my 1973 Chevy Laguna.
36. I once won a speech contest on the topic of “soil conservation”
37. I drove around all the Great Lakes one year
38. I climbed Mt. Fuji
39. I want to go to Butan
40. I met my wife on her interview
41. I can be aggressive
42. My favorite fowl is Wood Duck, they’re beautifl
43. and they taste excellent, I’ve killed a Wood Duck.
44. I spent two hours in a holding cell for “attempting to steal a hubcap”. I never touched it.
45. I voted for Kerry in the last election
46. I’ve posed for a picture pretending to walk on water on the Sea of Galilee
47. I enjoy living in San Francisco
48. I’ve never been shot at but my father has been.
49. I would love to be a teacher but it doesn’t pay enought
50. I was raised as a Catholic
51. I don’t practice Catholicism
52. I am left handed
53. I am red/green colorblind
54. I used to be a really good baseball pitcher
55. I would like to retire in the south of France
56. My wife is Japanese
57. My wife is 53 weeks older than I am.
58. I wish it were 51 weeks.
59. I started driving at age 14
60. I never remember jokes
61. My first car was a Volkswagen Beetle
62. I really like sailing
63. I remember numbers really well and names very poorly
64. I was born in Duluth, MN, US
65. My daughter was born in London, UK
66. I love to speak in front of crowds
67. I’ve worked in or visited 27 countries
68. I broke my wrist on a snowmobile
69. My favorite color is blue
70. I love my wife
71. I have a 700 year old statue
72. My favorite city is Kyoto
73. I have two sisters
74. I’ve had a snake and an eagle (temporarily) as pets
75. I didn’t own a car for more than 10 of my adult years
76. I love taking taxi cabs
77. I love to fly
78. I love to play poker
79. I am a computer scientist
80. I wish I had gotten an MBA
81. I could’ve been a better friend on a number of occasions.
82. I want to go horse-back riding on the beach
83. I miss the vacation allowance in Europe
84. I think my daughter is perfect
85. I don’t own a house
86. I have owned a house
87. I haven’t worn a watch in 15 years
88. I would like to start a business
89. I grew up in Moose Lake, Minnesota
90. I don’t keep in touch with any of my childhood friends
91. I love computer games
92. I’ve been using computers regularly since 1975
93. I didn’t find my 40 birthday anything special
94. I hope I live to be 100
95. I’ve always wanted to play guitar
96. I played baritone when I was young, a poor choice
97. I could retire and never be bored
98. I love the redwood trees
99. I would ice skate every day if I could
100. Even stating 100 things about me, there are things I will not or cannot tell.